Feeling a Bit Alone?
Friends can be fun one day and disappointing the next. Parents can say "no" at
times when it doesn't make sense. All girls feel alone at times.
There are various skills you can develop to take care of yourself during these
times. The important action is to reach out:
- to others whom you trust
- to yourself
Reaching out to others can be very helpful when you feel alone. This could be to an
adult, neighbor, friend, sister or brother, or even a pet. It can be very comforting
to hang out where you feel some gentleness, an ease to be with, or even to have fun.
It's not always easy to reach out when you feel alone. When you try it, you put
yourself in a position to let some nice things happen...
There are times when it is better to be by yourself, for instance if your friends
have decided to do something that you feel uncomfortable about. Perhaps you've reached
out some and nobody is home, (and even your pet is not around). This can be an
opportunity to develop a most important relationship…with yourself.
Developing a Relationship with Yourself
Illustration by George Ulrich
|You will never regret learning more and more about developing a relationship with
yourself. Learning to take care of yourself when you feel alone can be an exciting and
important skill to develop. Here's some questions you could ask yourself.
What do I need right now? Do I need to be around people or do I need a break from
them? Do I need to be active or quiet?
What comforts me? Certain music or movies on video? Writing in a journal? Going
out for exercise or curling up with a blanket, herbal tea and a good book?
Want to be with people, but no ones around? It can feel more soothing to be around
other people who are also alone. Think about some places where others are also alone.
Perhaps it's at a YWCA where you work out, or a track where you could go for a run.
Perhaps it's a bookstore or music store that encourages browsing. Another idea is
to go to a library, or to take your dog for a walk. Perhaps you know a child you
could take to the playground.
Start a list. In your journal start a list of things that you like
to do when you're alone. Add to it as you notice, even when you're not lonely, what
you like. Also start a list of people that you enjoy being with and add to it
regularly. It could come in helpful on days when you'd like some company.
What if I feel a lot more than "a little" lonely?
If you are feeling suicidal or unsafe now or need immediate help, Dial 911 or
the operator and just ask for help, or go to your nearest Emergency Room.
If you are not sure if your loneliness is serious, find an adult to talk
An adult can help direct you to a
professional to answer that question. Treatment and help are available to help
young women who are or may be depressed.