When You Feel Alone
Friends can be fun one day and disappointing the next. Parents can say "no" at times when
it doesn't make sense. All girls feel alone at times.
There are various skills you can develop to take care of yourself during these times. The
important action is to reach out:
- to others whom you trust
- to yourself
Reaching out to others can be very helpful when you feel alone. This could be to an adult,
neighbor, friend, sister or brother, or even a pet. It can be very comforting to hang out
where you feel some gentleness, an ease to be with, or even to have fun. It's not always
easy to reach out when you feel alone. When you try it, you put yourself in a position to
let some nice things happen…
There are times when it is better to be by yourself, for instance if your friends have
decided to do something that you feel uncomfortable about. Perhaps you've reached out some
and nobody is home, (and even your pet is not around). This can be an opportunity to develop
a most important relationship...with yourself.
Developing a Relationship with Yourself
Illustration by George Ulrich
|You will never regret learning more and more about developing a relationship with yourself.
Learning to take care of yourself when you feel alone can be an exciting and important skill to
develop. Here's some questions you could ask yourself.
What do I need right now? Do I need to be around people or do I need a break from them? Do
I need to be active or quiet?
What comforts me? Certain music or movies on video? Writing in a journal? Going out for
exercise or curling up with a blanket, herbal tea and a good book?
Want to be with people, but no one's around? It can feel more soothing to be around other
people who are also alone. Think about some places where others are also alone. Perhaps it's
at a YWCA where you work out, or a track where you could go for a run. Perhaps it's a
bookstore or music store that encourages browsing. Another idea is to go to a library, or
to take your dog for a walk. Perhaps you know a child you could take to the playground.
Start a list. In your journal start a list of things that you like to
do when you're alone. Add to it as you notice, even when you're not lonely, what you like.
Also start a list of people that you enjoy being with and add to it regularly. It could come
in helpful on days when you'd like some company.
What if I feel a lot more than "a little" lonely?
If you are feeling suicidal or unsafe now or need immediate help: Dial 911 or the operator and
just ask for help or go to your nearest Emergency Room
If you are not sure if your loneliness is serious, find an adult to talk to. An adult can help direct you to a professional to
answer that question. Treatment and help are available to help young women who are or may be